


My Only One

by CFD-51-81-3-61 (ImagineBeingSafe)



Series: Heartbeat [1]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Marriage Proposal, Self-Hatred, Spoilers for Episode: s02e08 The Rules of Engagement, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:53:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29271303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineBeingSafe/pseuds/CFD-51-81-3-61
Summary: Here I goSo dishonestlyLeave a noteFor you, my only oneAnd I know you can see right through meSo let me go and you will find someone- Yellowcard, Only OneMatt's been distant lately.You knew it wouldn't last.He catches you{like he always does}at a dark moment
Relationships: Matthew Casey/Reader, Stella Kidd/Kelly Severide
Series: Heartbeat [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149641
Kudos: 2





	My Only One

**_Broken this fragile thing now_ **

**_And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces_ **

**_And I've thrown my words all around_ **

**_But I can't, I can't give you a reason_ **

You knew who you were.

And it was:

_Worthless._

Alone for so long, foster kid tossed from place to place.

A disappointment to your adoptive family.

_You must be, thirty, and only an EMT._

Nothing to show, nothing gained.

Never gonna be good enough!

Not for the only one you could see anymore.

_Not for Matthew Casey._

**_II just want to tell you so you know_ **

**_Here I go_ **

**_Scream my lungs out_ **

**_Try to get to you_ **

**_You are my only one_ **

He was a hero. A leader.

Why he would look at you twice, you had no clue.

He seemed to care, but it couldn't last.

**_+_ **

"I just want to know what's wrong?"

_{Liar.}_

"Please, Y/N, just talk to me."

_{You'll regret it. See the burden I am.}_

++++++

_I can't do this anymore. My Matty. I know better. You'll find someone that is worth your love._

_Just let me go._

_Y/N._

**_+++++++_ **

**_Here I go_ **

**_So dishonestly_ **

**_Leave a note_ **

**_For you, my only one_ **

**_And I know you can see right through me_ **

**_So let me go and you will find someone_ **

You stood on the bridge, Looking down at the pitch black of the river. If the fall didn't kill you, the icy water would.

_"Let go._

_It will be okay._

_They will forget._

_Matt will…_

_…he saves people, sure, but he knew lost causes too._

_you aren't worth- no one mourns the invisible ones._

_51 will carry on._

_Jump."_

**_Here I go_ **

**_Scream my lungs out_ **

**_Try to get to you_ **

**_"Y/N!"_ **

**_You are my only one_ **

Your breath catches, knowing he found you.

Matt found you.

The whole city, the dead of night, and he finds you

****

You don't look back, just climb.

"Y/N! Please!"

"Matt. Just let me go.

I know you don't- nor ever will- feel the same, but I've felt this way for a while now.

I just, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

You pause for a moment, feet balanced just so. You embrace the cold, and look toward the black.

Rushing footfalls

Arms go around you.

"No. NO! Let. Me. Go!"

You are swung around, and you fight,

He pulls you into him, arms locked around you.

You are just… Numb.

As cold seeps into your lower half, you feel his warmth and catch the words coming from Matt

"Please, don't.

Don't. 

I love you so much, baby. Don't. I'll- I'll do anything you want. Just don't leave me."

That breaks you

You sobbed because you didn’t deserve that.

you didn’t deserve his love. Given freely. No strings. No limits. 

No running. No more. You wanted to stay.

**_I let go_ **

**_There's just no one, no one like you_ **

**_You are my only, my only one_ **

**_My only one…_ **

He lifts you into his arms, carrying you back to his truck

++++++

You get led into Matt's apartment.

He won't let you go, always a hand on some part of you.

"First things first, a shower. Baby, I know you must be freezing. You don't have anything on but that thin jacket, and I don't know how long you were out there.

I'll be with you the whole time if you want."

Yes you did want. He'd been distant. It was how things had started sliding down hill.

"I'll wash your hair- If you want?"

You melted a bit. He had always known how to take care of you.

Warm water cascades down your form.

Matt's fingers massage your locks, and you feel loved.

Again, he didn't have to care for you like this, you should-

Matt rinses the shampoo from your head.

He gently pulls you back to him, kissing your forehead, and waiting for you to come back.

The water soaks the two of you in warmth.

Matt shuts it off, and grabs a towel .

You come back as he towels your hair.

"There you are, baby."

An old shirt of Matt's and some comfortable PJ pants.

You get tucked into the couch.

"Now, you need something to eat."

Depression had stolen your appetite- it had given you an upset stomach. You’d barely eaten anything in the last few days, since eating while your stomach was churning was never a good idea.

Matt knew that.

He reached into the pantry, grabbed a carton of bone broth and a pack of Ritz crackers.

"Just try for me. If you can keep it down, tomorrow, I'll made all your favorite comfort foods."

Mug of broth, plate of crackers, slowly eaten.

"I need to tell you the reason I've been distant lately.

Why I've taken the time away from you."

Matt goes to a toolbox and pulls out a small green box.

_"Matt."_

"Please listen.

Matt takes your hand.

"I thought I'd had love, I thought I knew what was going to happen. But then you dropped into my life.

You gave me something to believe in again.

When you get a second chance like this, you don't waste it.

This ring is my promise. I'm not spending another moment not loving you.

Will you marry me?"

"Oh, Matty. Of course. "


End file.
